Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how my service is viewed through other peoples eyes. It's not uncommon for Peace Corps Volunteers to hear "What you're doing is going to change so many lives" or "You're tough for putting yourself through that for two years!" The people outside of the Peace Corps have this grand illusion of what volunteers are actually doing. Many think that every day is a trial and life is difficult, but my current life is incredibly easy.
This post is about my life though and I don't want to take away from other volunteers who find their lives difficult. Yes, I don't have electricity or running water. Yes, I rarely speak English and I cook over a little charcoal stove. No, there isn't pizza or readily available dairy. But I have my own house, a cat, and close friends in my village. Every day I go to teach and am greeted by new problems and rewards. Though it isn't easy to be teaching Biology in another language, and I envy the resources that are available to teachers in the states. I often forget where I am at until I have a slip up in my Swahili and can't understand what my students are asking me. I'm still facing problems that I did in the states. Those dirty dishes aren't going to clean themselves. That person isn't good for you why are you pursuing them? It's almost like senior year of college again expect I never drink anymore and I'm not spending absurd amounts on delivery food. Actually, for me moving to Tanzania was an easier adjustment than going off to college. Maybe always having Africa as my end goal prepared me for life in Tanzania and that's why there wasn't culture shock. Or maybe I am just too apathetic towards life to care enough about the differences. Either way I am more than content with my life here and I'm already dreading the end of my service.
The next illusion I'm sadly going to shatter is how much change a volunteer is bringing about. As a volunteer it is my hope that I can help change one life. Just a single person. Maybe one of my students will graduate and move on to form 5 and 6. Maybe one won't continue school, but they'll pick up some life skills from me and it'll help them later on in life. The point is I am not this immense agent of change. I will be changing very small things in the scheme of life. For some students I might be that push that helps them further their education, and for others maybe I was just the first white person they've interacted with. It is almost a guilty feeling that I am faced with when I think about how much I am getting out of this, and how much I am giving.
Anyways, as of right now I think I'm going to start posting again. I've taken my time to take everything in and live in the moment. Now I'm ready for my daily experiences to be shared, and oh boy do I have some good stories ever since we reached the reproduction segment of the syllabus. My apologies for the reality check and it's cool if you keep that inspiring image of my life in your mind. But every day is like a get away to me. There are just little problems that seem big in the moment. Like if it's your last day of vacation and you've planned a day on the beach, but it rains. Go with it. Stop fretting over things that aren't actually problems.
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